"The more I traveled the more I realized that fear makes strangers of people who should be friends".
- Shirley MacLaine
Before I start to pen down my thoughts on the kindness of some strangers I have come across so far, the insecurities and the horrible stories of rape victims, haunts me in the hindsight. Right from childhood, we have been taught to be wary of strangers. "Don't accept chocolates from anyone..Don't go behind someone if they call or offer you something..etc" are few words that are deep-rooted within us. And if you are an "Indian" girl child then the list of Don't-Do's is very huge that you might find it difficult to recall what not to do, before you step out of your home. Thanks to those news channels that notifies the glitches of the public (especially women ) security system to its citizens. Over time, the wariness turns into fear and over-protection thus arriving at a stereotypical thought that women and children must be kept confined to their homes to avoid any mishaps. Being more prudent to strangers is always appreciated but do not let the fear to make you house-bound, to stop you from what you might have pursued otherwise. A day has come, where the foreign tourists tremble to even list "India" in their travel itineraries. Let us, set aside the fear for a while and begin to appreciate the kindness and hospitality of a fellow stranger whom every one of us would have certainly met.
A Helping Hand
Rewinding my memories as much as I can , I finally arrive to cite a stranger who helped me when I was ten years old. It was a broiling afternoon and I was on my way home from school. My school bus had just dropped me on the side of the Main road and I usually go home with my brother. As he was sick that day, I was left all alone to cross the road which was rather busy at its peak.There is no signal or traffic police to guide the pedestrians, making it difficult to cross the road. I remember, my brother once told me that two-wheelers and four-wheelers usually pause for a while for school children to cross the road but that day I realized he was wrong.
After a bit of progress with my heavy bag of books and lunch-bag, all my efforts to cross the road were in vain. Suddenly from behind, I realized that someone is trying to get a grip of my fingers and soon realized that the person was helping me to cross the road. She was in her twenties with a mellow smile and she did not utter a word, leaving my own conscience to figure out what she was trying to do. Her genial act of kindness forced me to befriend her and found out that she lives around the same area where I live in. I was in fact pleading her to pay a visit to home and she did not resist either. I introduced her to my parents that she helped me while crossing the road. Though they were surprised to know that I have found some peculiar circumstances to befriend someone, they expressed gratitude and queried about her whereabouts. Soon, we became close and she often visits our home until we stayed there.
A Stranger-cum-Celebrity
The train was all set to depart from Chennai to Coimbatore and I was on board with my family who were trying to place the luggage up in the garret of the train. I was seated comfortably right next to a lady who was busy in conversation with her husband who came for her send off. I overheard the conversation and I still remember him telling his wife to be careful while using the bathroom in train and not to get down at any station, as if that was her first travel in train. Nevertheless, he seemed so caring and protective over his wife. The train left the station. Few minutes later , she ordered a masala dosa and so did I. We both could not complete even half of it. I headed towards the basin to dispose the remnants and she followed me. She greeted me with a smile and I noticed that her eyes were too attractive and her lustrous hair as thick as a wire but very short and blunt. We both were back to our seats. Soon she broke the silence in our compartment by asking a question, "Are you Jeevitha? ". I was taken by surprise that how did she know my name when my parents haven't spoken a word to me since we boarded the train.
I replied positive and asked her how did she know my name.She then clarified that before boarding the train she and her husband saw the name-list of passengers that is stuck near the door of the coach in order to know whether the next passenger was a male or female. If it was a male, her husband would have asked the TTR to change her seat. She was very much interested to know about my whereabouts and I told her that I'm on my way home and I have just completed my 12th std counselling in Anna University, Chennai. Soon I came to know that her husband was none other than Mr. Badava Gopi who is a media-entertainer and the sole anchor of King-Queen-Jack, a comedy show in Star Vijay back in 2007. I told her that I'm not aware of that show because I was studying in a boarding school and we are not supposed to watch television.
The journey with her was so interesting that she shared me how she met her husband in Loyola College and loved each other. She was blessed with two children and shared a family photo with me. I told her that she was having a long hair and now she looks very different with a short boy cut. She replied that she has tonsured her hair at Tirupati , owing to her daughter's prolonged illness. During the course of our journey, we shared lot of stories and she even jotted down some of my kadi-jokes and assured me that she will tell her husband to use them for his comedy show. We shared our phone numbers and promised to stay in touch. It was a feel-good journey and I waved good-bye to those beautiful eyes of hers. After so many years, I saw her with her husband as a contestant in "Jodi Number 1", a dance show hosted by Star Vijay. I was shell-shocked to hear her say that she lost her daughter and wanted to fulfill her daughter's wish by participating in the dance show. It was evident that they both were trying real hard to dance but the spirit and the urge to fulfill their little daughter's wish moved the crowd deeply and nonetheless, they both were truly inspiring.
And so the bottom-line is
There are so much more strangers who are indeed so helpful and inspiring .Writing about each one of them would make this blog too hard to finish. I have met both men and women who offer their seats for elderly people, who insist the bus drivers to slow down the bus when he drives rashly, to demand the right thing to the public when something goes wrong, right from lifting up heavy luggages to offerring a helping hand when one is totally lost - there are good people around. I have even come across an autorick driver who bargained to reduce the auto fare on behalf of me to another autorick driver which is so rare in India. Their efforts might be belittled but they are often an inspiration for the ones who secretly admire them.
Ignorance is not a bliss anymore. Educating oneself with possible self-defense tricks, trying to be as native as possible, circumspect the surroundings for a while and then asking directions to the right person, being more watchful while traveling alone - all these can actually mitigate the fear of being lost or molested by a stranger. Most importantly a fully charged mobile and enough money in the wallet will be the best rescuers. The bottom line of the whole write-up is to show that there are people with morale and humanity. Accidents and mishaps are prone to happen in every nook and corner of the world and for a densely populated country like India, the situation tends to be more out of control.
Instead of dwelling in the insecurities that the newspapers and news channels have over-hyped to the public, lets focus on being more judicious so that nothing can hinder us from what we really wish to do. Remember, human-beings are social creatures, we are here after all to help others and helping others will in turn make us feel good.
I replied positive and asked her how did she know my name.She then clarified that before boarding the train she and her husband saw the name-list of passengers that is stuck near the door of the coach in order to know whether the next passenger was a male or female. If it was a male, her husband would have asked the TTR to change her seat. She was very much interested to know about my whereabouts and I told her that I'm on my way home and I have just completed my 12th std counselling in Anna University, Chennai. Soon I came to know that her husband was none other than Mr. Badava Gopi who is a media-entertainer and the sole anchor of King-Queen-Jack, a comedy show in Star Vijay back in 2007. I told her that I'm not aware of that show because I was studying in a boarding school and we are not supposed to watch television.
The journey with her was so interesting that she shared me how she met her husband in Loyola College and loved each other. She was blessed with two children and shared a family photo with me. I told her that she was having a long hair and now she looks very different with a short boy cut. She replied that she has tonsured her hair at Tirupati , owing to her daughter's prolonged illness. During the course of our journey, we shared lot of stories and she even jotted down some of my kadi-jokes and assured me that she will tell her husband to use them for his comedy show. We shared our phone numbers and promised to stay in touch. It was a feel-good journey and I waved good-bye to those beautiful eyes of hers. After so many years, I saw her with her husband as a contestant in "Jodi Number 1", a dance show hosted by Star Vijay. I was shell-shocked to hear her say that she lost her daughter and wanted to fulfill her daughter's wish by participating in the dance show. It was evident that they both were trying real hard to dance but the spirit and the urge to fulfill their little daughter's wish moved the crowd deeply and nonetheless, they both were truly inspiring.
And so the bottom-line is
There are so much more strangers who are indeed so helpful and inspiring .Writing about each one of them would make this blog too hard to finish. I have met both men and women who offer their seats for elderly people, who insist the bus drivers to slow down the bus when he drives rashly, to demand the right thing to the public when something goes wrong, right from lifting up heavy luggages to offerring a helping hand when one is totally lost - there are good people around. I have even come across an autorick driver who bargained to reduce the auto fare on behalf of me to another autorick driver which is so rare in India. Their efforts might be belittled but they are often an inspiration for the ones who secretly admire them.
Ignorance is not a bliss anymore. Educating oneself with possible self-defense tricks, trying to be as native as possible, circumspect the surroundings for a while and then asking directions to the right person, being more watchful while traveling alone - all these can actually mitigate the fear of being lost or molested by a stranger. Most importantly a fully charged mobile and enough money in the wallet will be the best rescuers. The bottom line of the whole write-up is to show that there are people with morale and humanity. Accidents and mishaps are prone to happen in every nook and corner of the world and for a densely populated country like India, the situation tends to be more out of control.
Instead of dwelling in the insecurities that the newspapers and news channels have over-hyped to the public, lets focus on being more judicious so that nothing can hinder us from what we really wish to do. Remember, human-beings are social creatures, we are here after all to help others and helping others will in turn make us feel good.
